Monday, July 28, 2008

a message to myself at midnight
I’m peering out again, to the obscurity.
The blackness,
the dark infinite nothing as I affectionately call it.
The faithless alone, the individual lost, intertwined
in a sea of ideas and ideals, goals and unrealistic assumptions.
Without distinctions classified.
Pursuing advantages over little battles worthy of no regard.
Beside the bedside of my demeanour.
Overbearing instincts leaving confusion.
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
A constant run amok among the chaos of ambition.
A little known fact shot out in conversations to deter the belief in someone else’s bullshit. The everyday alone, meaningless of regards, classifications and periodical belief structures. Towers of infinite mass growing steadily, forward, beyond, evolved.
Intellectual ramifications, statistics and planned associations.
Systems within systems within systems within systems.
In cloning my way I attracted many others.
Questionably assuming that which I know is that which is.
Negligent of reality I live on with the idea of I, calmly reassuring importance.
A fed dosage of docile.
Breathing conclusions, exhaling transgressions.
In violation of myself.
I resonate and radiate a confusion that I cannot control but hopefully may learn to tame over time. A soft glow permeates a shadow glimpsing.
Of imaginary sense descriptions, imagine nothing.
Imagine absolutely nothing.
What can there be within something that cannot be described by our own just description. Something that is so far beyond what this is, it becomes an impossibility.
A fraction of value among what stands as solid.
Beyond structure, beyond reality, all that remains is nothing.
The impossible sits just outside my window cell, I can’t see it, but I know it’s there.
It’s always there, just waiting for my hint of recognition, and horror of realization.

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